I've been having these fun conversations about 'labels' on twitter, and I have something to say to you - whether you have a million labels or none at all, I support you.
What do I mean by labels?
I mean...
-- labels indicating your sexual orientation (straight, gay, whatever)
-- labels indicating your gender identity (there's not just male and female anymore, there are also other genders, mainly non-binary which doesn't fit the binary construct)
-- any other labels you can think of
What are my labels?
Most of the time, this is a process, it's a journey that takes many years.
-- I thought I was straight for 21 years of my life
-- I have been bisexual for 10 years (you're attracted to more than 1 gender)
-- I have been demisexual for 10 years (you require an emotional connection)
-- I have moved from bi to pan in the last 3 years (bisexual means being attracted to more than just one gender and pansexual means being attracted to all genders)
-- I have always known I was non-binary and asexual, but only recently decided to share it with the world (because we have more support for that thing now, phew)
-- I have moved toward using 'romantic' rather than 'sexual', so for example, I would say demiromantic, panromantic, and so on, rather than demisexual and pansexual (since I resonate with one of these way more than the other)
-- I have been researching more 'specific' labels, too, but feeling no rush or pressure to use them because to me, it matters I'm in the LGBTQIA community and that I meet more people like me online (because everyone in my country is still silent)
-- I have always been monogamous (no shade to poly people ofc)
The interesting thing about all these labels is that - for gender, you don't have to 'look' one gender to identify as that gender, for example. It's okay to express any way you want and to identify as any label you feel like, because gender is a fluid thing and it's been scientifically proven that gender is how you feel inside. Some people will try to convince you to follow the 'rules' but aren't we beyond those rules and boxes already?
Let's break out from the binary constriction and just be HUMANS. :)
There's no rush or pressure!
And this is another point I wanted to make - I am 35 years old and still discovering myself. You could be 60 years old and still discovering yourself!
It's all good. There's no time for this.
I also recognize people's need NOT to use labels, to be rebels, and that's okay too!
Personally, I feel freedom and satisfaction when I discover the right labels and start using them, especially when I meet people online who feel similarly. Since I haven't had this experience in real life, I do enjoy it a lot online, twitter specifically.
It's like -- "Hey me too! I thought I was the only one!" - ad then you get this immense relief of meeting someone who 'validates' your human experience. You feel less alone.
Finally - all of this is a SPECTRUM. You don't have to know 'exactly' what or who you are because we're all different, individual beings, and that's OK. :)
So this is me:
-- non-binary (you don't fall under the male/female gender umbrella, you might be both genders or all genders, you might not be any gender, fluid, etc.)
-- my pronouns are: she/they/whatever (I don't feel like any gender most of the time and I don't get offended by any pronouns, so it's all good)
-- asexual/graysexual (you mostly don't feel sexual attraction to people, but that doesn't mean you never have libido or anything, there are intricacies here)
-- mostly romantic in everything - my writing, life, etc.
-- demiromantic (you fall for people you know, you need an emotional connection)
-- panromantic (you can feel romantic feelings for anyone of any gender - really, you don't care about the gender, you like other things better, like personality)
I'm no expert on most of these topics, but I am always curious, always active in discovering myself and talking to fellow queer people, expanding my knowledge on this subject, so if you want to ask me something or have a conversation, do it here in the comments, or just tweet me or DM me on twitter, where I live these days. Lol.
Thank you for accepting me as I am! It means the world to me.
And really, choose whatever labels that you feel fit and feel comfortable to you, and there's no pressure to do that either. Do what works for you, boo.
I accept you as you are too. You're wonderful. :)
Now... what are your labels?
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